The Tying of Ties

November 16th, 2010

I don’t have time to watch many full games of hockey, what with school and all (so of course I’m posting here). But I watch highlights on TSN’s site from time to time. They have little ads that play before the clip reel. Today one of the ads had a guy complaining that only a Full Windsor would do for tying a tie. He thinks less of those who don’t use a FW. The tagline is that if they are that careful about the ties, they must be careful about the money. I don’t know. Maybe they’re so busy worrying about the ties that they don’t have time to pay attention to the money?

I don’t watch a ton of sports, nor do I tend to read much about it, the exception being hockey. I’ll read some NBA stuff from time to time, and I’ll check to make sure the Lions still suck, but hockey is what I follow. Last night was a very relaxing game for me, and while I was watching it, I found myself thinking about how people talk about stars in sports. In this aspect, hockey is one of the worst. The slow degeneration of the language caused by hockey announcers on national television is amazingly depressing.

First off, I am sorry Chicago, it’s great that you’re a reemerging marking in hockey. I’m glad the Blackhawks are good again, but you do not have two super stars right now, you don’t even have one. You have a very good team, and one that I look forward to watching many times in the future, but the announcers were wrong when they said that you had two super stars. Kane and Toews might get there one day, but they aren’t there yet. This over glorification of the athletes who are merely, and I don’t want that word to be too prejudicial, are stars, is ridiculous. This happens in other sports, but perhaps because hockey is trying to mount a comeback on the U.S. sporting scene, it is much worse with the hockey announcers.

Not every team can have two superstars. The very nature of a super star is that they stand out from the other stars. They aren’t just stars, they stand out from the rest of the stars. It’s ridiculous that I have to say this. I’m not sure I’d say Detroit has a single superstar, and they are likely to win back to back cups.

This shouldn’t surprise me though. Every time you draw a linguistic Maginot Line, the sports announcers are just going to run through the Ardennes of human speech in their quest to render the English language comical through superlatives. Do you really need to say that an athlete “owns” a hard shot? Basketball was bad on that one for a while too. I understand that the job of sports reporting is a constant struggle against repeating your cliches too quickly, but it has to be better than that. Also, ESPN should hire some more editorial assistants to check the writing. It’s amazing how many mistakes get through. You know there are plenty of people available with the way that the publishing industry is these days.

This has been another “Get Off My Lawn Moment” with Ian Macleod.

Just throwing it out there…

September 10th, 2008

Portland has only one major league team, the Trailblazers. It is the 23rd largest metro area. Most pro leagues have around 30 teams. I almost want to just say, do the math. Not only does it not have a second major team, it has the Beavers, triple A baseball, and the biggest football team plays on a high school’s field. The hockey team is in the WHL, the juniors. Now, of course, I’d like there to be a bigger hockey team, something AHL maybe, or move the Panthers here. But wouldn’t some other sport want a piece of this? You could move the Coyotes out of Phoenix and give them a new name. Seriously, there are a lot of places that have NHL teams where playing hockey is crazy, but the middle of the desert has to top that list, and they have the second worst attendance*.

  • Total numbers, the Panthers have the worst as a percentage of the seats they have in the arena. Also low on the filling it out numbers? Washington. Come on D.C. residents! Don’t listen to that Crosby is best crap. You have the most amazing hockey player alive today in your city. Go and see him. He will score crazy amazing goals for you to cheer about.

It was a good day for Detroit sports. The Tigers have the 4th best record in MBL while on a 7 game winning streak (though it’s so early that doesn’t mean a whole lot just yet) and the Pistons are up 2-0 in the second round against Chicago.

But most importantly, the Redwings won their second round matchup against the Sharks. In the West, there were only two teams that I would think could take the Wings out, and they were the Sharks and the Ducks. Sadly, the Wings are up against the Ducks now in the Western Conference Finals. The Wings are now missing two of their top four D-men. I don’t know if they will make it through. Also sad to me is that the guy who went down in game five this round was Mathieu Schneider. I feel this weird tribal pride in him, as he’s the highest scoring Jewish hockey player ever. He was also eating up 23 minutes a game on the back end, which leaves 45 year old Chelios to take much of his time. If anyone can do it’s Chelios, but one would prefer he didn’t have to prove it.

But to celebrate getting past the second round, here is a Don Cherry picture I was saving for a special occasion:

Don Cherry, a flowery man...

That one comes from Daymented. I’ll be honest, I’m just doing google image searches for these suits. I need to find Cherry’s tailor. The guy must be blind now.

P.S. Open message to Eric. I was going to start some old fashioned trash talkin with you about the Pistons/Bulls series, but it’s just not going to be fun, as the Pistons are making the Bulls look like D leaguers.

Playoffs

April 21st, 2007

The Redwings are still alive, having dominated the Flames in game 5, and so far it’s been a pretty exciting first round. I don’t know if Dallas and the Wings both pull out their series they’d play each other in the second round. Two weeks ago I would have loved that. But Marty Turco has posted a shutout in all three of the Stars wins. He also got two of the losses into overtime, the first game went to fourth overtime. Does anyone really want a piece of a goalie when he gets that hot? I don’t think so, but then again none of the other teams would look like easy targets either.

Anyhow, celebratory Don Cherry posting:
Don Cherry, a man who sees things in black and white terms.

I haven’t forgotten about novellas… nope…

Hockey Post

January 30th, 2007

Randomly stumbled upon this article which sums up my feelings about hockey this season quite nicely.

Bill Simons likes to talk about Stern’s genius with the NBA. Stern really does make it tempting to believe in a conspiracy. Bettman really does make you want slam your head against a wall.

Can’t the fucking Florida Panthers just get moved to Seattle already? Oh wait, with the way that league is run, Seattle will want nothing to do with them, even with the Supersonics going bye bye.

It begins…

September 20th, 2006

Hockey Pre-Season has started. Today the Wild beat the Wings 2-3. My consolation is that the Wings only dressed something like two members of their team last year. The wild had Demetria and Gaborik on the ice, plus Fernandez in goal. It was frustrating driving to work today, as I had to go past the Xcel Energy Center, where the game was played. There were no broadcasts of the game that I could get either.

Boing Boing seems to have started in on a project using what amounts to micropayments. I was never quite sure I bought into the guys at Goats debunking the idea. Still, I don’t know of anyone making it work very well so far. Good luck to Boing Boing’s Emporium. I would love to think it will be a huge success. It’s a great sounding model when you belive it works.

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